Nick Cousins signs $800,000 deal with a Canadian NHL team

This just in, the Ottawa Senators have signed a one year contract worth $800,000.

The 31 year old forward was previously on a two year contract with the Florida Panthers that paid him $1.1 million per season. He managed seven goals and 15 points in 69 games with the Panthers last season and a further one point in 12 playoff games en route to the Panthers' Stanley Cup championship.

He's one of the most divisive players in the NHL due to his... ahem... dramatic tendencies. I'm not calling the guy a diver, but let's just say that he'd have scored well on the high board at Paris 2024.

I mean...

He goes from acting like he's been shot by a sniper to jumping on his opponents back in literally four seconds. The guy is the modern definition of a top-tier NHL pest.