OHL's Owen Sound Attack announce ridiculous restrictions like “no standing, even to celebrate goals”

Just when you think you've seen it all...

The NHL and various other pro and semi-pro hockey leagues around North America have effectively taken a break from the 2021-22 season in an attempt to get the current COVID-19 outbreak under control. The NHL won't be back on ice until after Christmas, while the QMJHL has paused its activities until after the first week of January, 2022. As it currently stands Canada's other two major junior leagues, the WHL and the OHL, are still in operation but are running under very strict restrictions. 

How strict?

I mean... just look at this set of rules provided to fans from the OHL's Owen Sound Attack:

All Attack fans attending Attack games are reminded to follow public health measures at the Harry Lumley Bayshore Community Centre:

Face coverings are mandatory at all times
Consumption of Food and Beverages is strictly prohibited
Children under the age of two will not require a face covering/mask
Standing Room areas are no longer available.
Standing of any kind is strictly prohibited

Standing is now prohibited? 

Am I permitted to breathe? What if I accidentally let a fart slip out? Will I be arrested?

In all seriousness, good luck enforcing these rules. If someone scores a goal people are going to jump up out of their seats and cheer. It's human nature and it's one of the best things about attending a live hockey game. If you have to just sit there and watch like a robot, why go to the game in the first place? What a joke...